I Love You, Setsuna
by GrimmFairytales
Summary: Kira has always loved Setsuna. But what happens when he tells Setsuna? Will the younger boy accept his feelings or will he run away scared. KiraSetsuna AngstRomance
1. The Kiss

Kira's heart hurt like hell. Everytime he thought of Setsuna and Sara together a dull ach started in his heart. The more he thought about them the more it hurt. Whether he was willing to admit it or not, he loved Setsuna and hated Sara down to the very core of his being for having the blond haired teen all to herself. It made him sick to his stomach when he saw her cling to her brother the way she did.

Sometimes, late at night, he would lie in bed just thinking about the boy who had been his friend for years. He remembered the day he had told Setsuna about who he really was, about how he was only friends with Setsuna because of Alexiel. The look of betrayal that had come over the other boy's face was unbearably agonizing for Kira to see. Arakune had been right. He had been on the brink of tears. He remembered telling Setsuna to take Sara and run away. That had been hell all on its own.

Kira's love was a dangerous love. At times he hated himself for loving Setsuna. It made being around the younger teen tense. He knew Setsuna never sensed the tension between the two of them, but Kira sensed it. It drove him insane. To be so close to the one he loved, yet so fucking far away. He cursed god. Cursed him and his sick sense of humor with every fiber of his being. If loving the same sex was wrong than why did god make it happen all the time? The damn guy was a hypocrite!

He couldn't remember when his friendship with Setsuna had turned into something more. All he knew is that one day he woke up with a hard on and thoughts of Setsuna's hard warm body pressed up against his. At first it had frightened Kira, he hadn't thought himself a bisexual. That's when he started sleeping with any women who would have him. It eased the pain that came from loving and lusting after one of his closest, dearest friends. Every now and then when there wasn't a woman to be found he would go stumbling and needy to Katou. They would fuck like wild animals. He in turn would have a moment's relief from the constant torment that waged in his heart.

He had to tell him. He had to get this off of his chest. It plagued him to no end. He sat in his cold empty bedroom staring out the window at nothing. He thought of Setsuna. Thought of his smile, his voice. The way he moved. How he laughed. How he cried. He thought of everything that made up and was Setsuna. He looked up as he felt cold, small hands touch his. It was the real Sakuya Kira, the seven-year-old boy whose body he now possessed. The young child gave a reassuring nod, smiling innocently. Kira smiled back at him numbly. There came a knock on his bedroom door. The child ghost disappeared. Kira nearly jumped ten feet out of his skin. He rolled his eyes, getting up to answer it.

What he saw when he opened the door tore his heart to shreds. Setsuna stood before him. Tears gushed forth from his brown eyes, staining his cheeks in salt water. The blond's knees finally gave way and he fell into Kira's welcoming embrace. Kira half dragged, half carried his distressed friend into his room, laying him on the bed. He sat next to the younger boy. When Setsuna calmed down, Kira asked what happened.

"It's Sara," he told between hiccups and partial sobs. "She-She doesn't love me anymore. She found someone else. Someone better. It's another girl." Fresh tears began to roll down Setsuna's tender cheeks. "She left me for another girl."

Kira layed down next to the other teen. Gingerly, he drew the blond into his arms, comforting him as best as he could. Setsuna rested his head on Kira's strong chest. Kira's arms encircled his waist. To Setsuna it didn't feel wrong. In fact it felt more right and at home than he was used to. Having Kira hold him made him feel the same way he did when Sara used to hold him. It felt safe. It felt warm. It felt…loving.

Setsuna's eyes widened at his last thought. Loving. Did Kira love him? He knew Kira loved him as a friend, but could it be possible that he loved him as more than a friend? Is that why the older teen always got tense whenever he came around? Setsuna was so caught up in his thoughts that he yelped when gentle, soft lips kissed his cheek.

Kira chuckled lightly at Setsuna's tiny yelp. He enjoyed scaring the blond sometimes.

"Kira, you wicked man," Setsuna growled at him.

"Oh, what an insult. I think my ego's gonna break."

Setsuna growled at him again, pouting. Kira loved it when he pouted. It made him look so adorable. This was the perfect time. He had to tell Setsuna. Kira grabbed Setsuna's chin in his fingers. Slowly he raised the other's face towards his. He gave the younger boy enough time to pull away if he wanted to. The brown eyed teenager didn't though. Tentative lips touched Setsuna's mouth. Tenderly the two kissed. Moving slow and with ease. It reminded Kira of a movie he had once watched.

Hesitantly their tongues danced. Setsuna draped his arms around his black haired friend's neck. Kira pulled Setsuna flush against his body. They moaned into each other's mouths. God, this is heaven, Kira thought. He knew Setsuna would taste good, but he never dreamed he would taste this good. The boys pushed apart, gasping desperately for a thing called air.

"I love you," Kira whispered into the trembling boy's ear.

"I love you too, Sara."

Kira froze in anger and frustration. Setsuna jumped out of his friend's arms, finally realizing what he had uttered. He looked at Kira in shocked terror. Kira stared at him with cold, heated eyes.

"Kira, I'm…" He could feel tears welling up behind his eyes again. "I'm so sorry." Setsuna ran from the room, leaving the house and his friend behind.

Kira moved to his from his bed to the window. His sat on the windowsill, staring out at the now raining sky. He thought of Setsuna, out there all alone. He thought of their friendship and about how he had probably just ruined it all to hell. Damn, did the younger teen feel amazing in his arms. He licked his lips, tasting Setsuna on them. Kira winced as the dull ach started up all over again.

A/N: I might add more. I might not. Depends how many people review.


	2. Shattered Glass

Setsuna ran. His chest hurt as he took another breath of air. His calves burned with the effort to keep moving. Anything to get him as far from Kira as he could. Why? Why had Kira done that? It didn't make sense. He ran down a back alley and stumbled, falling to the ground. He lay there. Hot tears welled in his eyes. He clenched a fist as he began to cry.

_Why, Kira? Why did you have to love me? Why couldn't you just lie to me? I want to hate you for this, but I can't. It doesn't make sense to me, Kira! Tell me why. I thought Katou was your special person. You and him were always so close. Did you kiss me to hurt me? Was that your plan? I'm sorry for saying her name. I really am. Forgive me, Kira, but I don't want to live anymore. Good-bye. I'll never see you again._

Setsuna crawled over to where a dumpster was. He drew his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. He cried harder, wishing for death. Next to him sat a broken piece of glass. He stared at it with numb eyes. Gingerly, he reached for it. He played with it between his fingertips as if mesmerized by its dull shine. An empty smiled graced his lips.

_It's broken, Kira. Broken like me. I can't fix what I said. If only you hadn't told me that. Hadn't kissed me. Where's this pain coming from? It won't go away. I'm running again, aren't I, sempai? I wonder if you'll miss me when I'm gone. Will anyone? Not mom. I doubt dad will even notice. What about Sara? She won't care, will she? And you, sempai. Will you care?_

He dragged the glass across the tender flesh of his wrist gently. The skin never opened. Tentatively, he pressed down harder with each stroke. A hiss of pain escaped his lips as the flesh ripped apart. Blood welled in the wound, but did not drain out. The cut wasn't deep enough. He had to keep going. He hacked at his own body, desperate for it to be done with. The glass slipped from his fingers, shattering against pavement. His eyes grew wide as he stared at his bloody wrist. There was so much blood that he could just barely make out the damage he had done to his being.

He sighed, eyes growing heavy. His limbs felt more weighted than he knew they were. He rested his hand on his thigh. Setsuna's eyes closed. A cold feeling rested in his stomach. He shivered slightly. _Don't forget me._ He exhaled one last time before darkness washed over his consciousness. _I'm sorry, Kira._

He was falling. Or was he? Darkness. No, warm hands. Something touching his face, his hair, his mouth. Was there talking? Unspoken words. I love you. Do you really? Is it all a lie? Things wrapping around his body. Wings. White feathers. Black feathers. Softness like never before. Is this death? Can it be? Glistening red on black backdrop. His wrist felt numb. Scolding hands caressing his chest. Is this passion? A distant image to far away to see. Deep chocolate brown eyes. A cocky, self-assured smile. Who was it? He knew this image, this person, but whom? A feeling of loss, crimson regret of shattered lies. The figure turning away, leaving. No, don't go! He couldn't move. Couldn't chase after! Don't leave. Please, stay! A shrill cry. Evil laughter in stale air, echoing in unhearing ears. Hands holding him down. No, let go! Don't leave me here! Come back. I'm sorry. Come back. KIRA!

Katou walked down the alleyway, shoulders slumped forward. He kicked a stray can. Only it didn't stay away from him. Katou cursed as the can bounced off of something and hit him in the head. Curious, he went over to where the can had bounced back from. His breath hitched in his throat as his eyes took in the mess before him.

Blood, so much blood. Smashed glass shards on the ground. And… Katou shook his head. No it couldn't be! His hand reached out, grabbing the front of the boy's white blood stained shirt. The boy's head slumped back, revealing to Katou his face.

"Shit! Mudou, opening your eyes! Now, you bastard!"

Katou became frantic. What should he do? Fuck! He threw Setsuna's death heavy body over his shoulder.

"Don't you fucking die on me, Mudou! You hear me! Kira would skin my ass if he knew I saw you and didn't help."

Katou struggled to carry Setsuna to Kira's house. He secretly prayed that the younger boy was going to live.

Kira sighed, glancing up from the book he was reading. He couldn't help but wonder what Setsuna was doing? His heart felt heavy as he once again glanced out the window, hoping to see the boy he had fallen so hard for. He knew Setsuna wouldn't be out there. He sighed again, thinking.

If I hadn't touched you, you'd still be here. If I hadn't been so selfish I'd have you cradled in my arms. I'm sorry, Setsuna. I never meant to hurt you. I saw your tears when you left. I hate the fact that I'm the reason you cry. It wasn't like this before. I didn't have feelings back then, but now I do and you're the center of them all. I try to hate you, but I can't. It's not fair, Setsuna! Why do you reject me when I love you more than Sara ever did? No one could love you as strongly or as deeply as I do. Search high, search low. Travel to heaven, hell, and purgatory. You'll find no one, Setsuna, who wants you, needs you as much as I do! Why, Setsuna, why can't you love me?

Kira was pulled from his thoughts as he spotted a flash of bright blond approaching his home. He marked his place in the book and got up to answer the door. He pulled the door open just as Katou reached the stoop. Kira noticed that the blond was panting excessively. He cocked an eyebrow at Katou.

"Get… him… off of… me," Katou wheezed out.

Kira looked at him like he was stupid. Then he saw the boy slung over Katou's left shoulder. His dark eyes widened. He grabbed the boy off Katou's shoulder, praying he was wrong. He wasn't. He gasped as Setsuna's heavy body fell into his arms. Blood instantly coated his fingers crimson red. He fell to his knees, hunching over as tears began to form behind his eyes.

Katou kicked him in the ribs. "This is no time for that, dumbass. Let's get his ass inside."

He stared at Katou as he had spoken another language. Then everything clicked.

They had Setsuna inside and on his bed faster than either one of them could blink. Kira wrapped Setsuna's wrist while Katou tried to check his pulse. Finally, Kira had to do it. He made Katou go get more blankets. They bundled Setsuna up in the extra blankets.

"Is… Is he gonna make it?" Katou asked in an all to frightened voice. He didn't sound like himself.

Kira only nodded.

Katou slipped out of the room, closing the door softly behind him.

Kira took Setsuna's hand in his own, entwining their fingers. He watched the face of the only person he had ever really loved and began to cry.

A/N: Well, here it is. I'd just like to thank : BeliveMe, xMizzxBx, fallenangelofnight, PowrRangrFreeek, and WaterDragonfromtheUnderworld. Thanks for the reviews, they were very much apreciated. Hope you liked. Flames are welcomed. Just tell what you got a problem with and I'll try to fix it. No promises though. Please, review. Arigato (Thank You)!


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